We Like to Think Of It As Our Elephant in the Room
Woman #1: I did that walk once when the subway was out.
Woman #2: It's good exercise. So, me and my friend decided that we need to exercise at least twenty minutes a day. For motivation, we decided that for each day we don't get at least twenty minutes in, we will donate $10 to the Republican National Committee. It's very motivating.
--Hudson & Houston
Something for Which One Would Have to Pay Extra
Freshman girl: I really like this guy...but he's like 28.
Freshman boy: I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
Freshman girl: What do you mean?
Freshman boy: Like, really illegal. Even in Russia.
--Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Loverparty
Photo Grade Paper, or Did You Cheap Out on Me?
Waiter: Yeah, that's just because you're obsessed with me.
Bartender, sarcastically: Oh, yeah, right--I'm totally obsessed with you. I went to your Facebook page and downloaded all the pictures of you on there and printed them out and put them up on my wall so I could have a collage.
Waiter: That was oddly specific.
--Lounge, Don't Tell Mama
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
And What's More Hilarious Than Middle-aged Sex?
Comedy show promoter: Comedy show tonight! 50% off, right here! What about you guys?
Middle-aged woman with husband: No thanks, we're seeing a movie.
Comedy show promoter: What about after your movie? We got late shows too!
Middle-aged woman: That's when we go home and have sex. Thanks, though.
--Times Square
Overheard by: Laura
Even Better
Upper East Side mom: Jackie, you have so many friends! I'm so happy for you!
Six-year-old girl: Mommy, those aren't my friends. Those are my entourage.
--92nd & Madison
Overheard by: LLOYD!!!
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